The Order of Things

When I read high schoolers' senior research papers and college entrance essays, I usually find the biggest hiccup in organization.

Voice is high (high schoolers have no problem telling all about themselves), but the paragraphs, though generally cohesive within themselves, are wonkily ordered, with evasive intros and double, if any, conclusions.

Somehow, after graduation, the organization issue seems to straighten itself out. And while I can't help wondering if sequencing is a product of human development, I have come up with some tricks:

Does the essay really start at the beginning? Or is intro more compelling one sentence, maybe one paragraph in?

A trick for this is to ask how the intro starts--with setting, scene, imagery, question, statement...

Do you already know the conclusion? Because this will lend itself to a strong, focused body.

Is there something in the middle, even in/toward the end, that could be moved way up?

Are transitional phrases used to show the reader You Are Here?

What kind(s) of conclusion(s) are used: summary/revisitation, projection, question, quote, imagery, call-to-action/examination?

And how about title--which must be written last: is it clever, reflective of content?

Hmmm... Lots to think about.

Coming soon: Content.

Gas & Groceries -- Days Three Through Five

For the last three days, we've been mostly on track.

If it wasn't for that darn fruit stand again, I'd have spent almost no money.

And yet, we've spent a whole day at the incredible American River canyon catching minnows and tadpoles, and jumping off rocks, and riding rapids. Again, we'd packed up a picnic, and my sister Amy and I set our beach chairs in the water while we sipped Diet Coke and watched her 8 year-old, Maddy, splash around with my water babies.

We've dug out a bunch of old toys from my dad's house, and the kids spent hours rummagine through boxes. The boys' treasures were mini Star Wars figures and an almost new GI Joe and his ten billion guns.

We've gone swimming at Maddy's house, and to her birthday party at some indoor trampolines, and my dad has taken us to Mel's Diner and Chevy's. MMmmm...

I've made my own mocha every day, and there's been afternoon time for reading and resting and even doing a little math.

Today Mackie is home from his orientation at UC Santa Cruz. Bacon is sizzling on the stove, and I'm already whipping up a pasta salad to take to the Folsom city pool this afternoon, where Daney will meet up with her best girlfriend, Gracia.

And I don't think I've said yet that Daney had strep throat our first couple of days here. $42 went to the Target pharmacy, but cheerfully, to get my girl back on her feet!

Sickness. Penny-pinching. It's a lot of work down here.

When I get home, I'm treating myself to a day of vacation in Ashland!

Where College is Going

Last week, the California University system proposed a 32% fee increase.

Possible Effects:

More students will go to private universities, where tuition is higher, but so is aid?

Greater population in community colleges?

The eventual privatization of higher ed?

Greater number of "gap years," when students work after high school instead of going straight to college?

Probable Effect:

Wider national chasm between rich and poor.


Sad.

College Collage

I've been reading a lot about college admissions.

Save yourself hours of reading with these highlights:

The September 2009 issue of US News & World Report claims that a third of college freshmen will drop out after that year, and another 20% before graduation.

In America, women make up the majority of co-ed student bodies.

Florida State University declares a black graduation rate of 72%, higher than that of whites.

In Britain, most high school graduates take a "gap year," before college, during which they travel, work, or volunteer.

While colleges struggle to accommodate students with dwindling funding, some consider privatization.

Admissions essays to Ivy League schools earn big points for proving why the college is a match. Standardized test scores (like the SAT) are under scrutiny.

If money's an object, as it is for the vast majority of the nation, the ends of the spectrum are suggested. Try community college, which enroll 6 million students in the U.S, and which are emerging in the academic recession as financially and curricularly savvy. Or aim high--for Harvard, Princeton, or Stanford, the top 1, 2, and 4 financial-friendly schools.