Money Money Money

One of the most unforgettable scenes in the 1972 movie musical "Cabaret" is Joel Grey and Liza Minnelli singing "Money makes the world go around..."

Abba agrees. "Money money money/always sunny/in the rich man's world."

I don't know much about money. I couldn't even find a single label on all my blog posts about money.

My man, however, has been playing the stock market a bit lately. He and the guys at the department research hedge funds and penny stocks and long and short investments. They call and text each other all day about stuff going up and down.

When Dave showed me a flashy ticker the other day, I told him I got it: the red means stop--don't sell, and the green means go--sell right now! and the "unch" means that those stock people are at lunch, so nothing's going on there.

None of that was right. I'll consider myself an expert when I get the difference between bull and bear market. But I'm leaving the fractions and graphs to the real investors.

Dave even checked out a bunch of Jim Cramer's "Mad Money" books from the library the other day. He plunked himself down on the couch, and the kids froze solid when they saw their daddy reading a real book.

So I'm all for stocks if they lead to reading.

And heck, if I get a few bucks, I might sink it into wheat. Wheat seems like something sensible.

I told Dave about it. "And I've got a plan," I whispered to him. "It's kind of secret. I'm going to buy it when it's really low, then sell it when it's high."

Dave just looked at me and kind of shook his head. Then he went back to texting Bob about the S&P and panic sells.